It's been a while.
A lot has changed in the past few months. Sometimes life goes through periods of time when not much exciting happens, and other times there's so much change it's hard to keep up with life.
The past few months there has been drastic changes in many areas of my life. Physically, I'm pregnant again with #5. LOVE the thought of another little one entering our family. However, pregnancy isn't all fun and games for me, and the blahness, sickness, exhaustedness, especially during the first trimester just makes time disappear and it all blurs together. Mentally, I've hit some great highs and some horrible lows, which during pregnancy can sometimes happen in the same day. :P I'm just recently feeling like I'm not living in the depths of despair and starting to get my life put back together. Spiritually, I've turned my back on God, chose to live in sin, ignored the truth, finally let the truth get through and am slowly working to turn it all around.
Then of course there's just life itself. Hubby trying desperately to find a new school that will actually pay him enough for us to just survive, always bills left unpaid, no idea as to how we'll make it in the fall if he is at the same school, him working 3 jobs which takes him away from us and still isn't enough to cover all the monthly bills.... all while trying not to worry since that doesn't help at all. Thankfully, neither of us are worriers, but watching reality does make us concerned.
I'm thankful we just keep at it. Even on the days I tend to try and ignore life, God is there to encourage me in some way.
I look back on the past 5 months and realize how much has changed. Instead of being disappointed that many of the changes were negative, those that were positive give me hope that the right kind of change can happen. My heart, my mind, my all, needs to be focused on Him. When I'm living my life for Christ, the positive changes can explode in ways I could never imagine.
This is what I'm hoping my choices lead to over the next few months.
