Redirect

I should not be blogging this morning.

Usually I shouldn't be writing because I have mounds of laundry needing folded, dishes needed loaded/unloaded, floors needing swept, and junk needed sorted, organized, and pitched.

Although most of the above is true, I shouldn't be writing today because I'm in a very melancholy mood.

Several reasons behind it... The recurrence of the depression, that although never goes completely away, still fluctuates up and down, the past few days being all down. Also, the fact that I've been unmedicated for 3 days now. With the new medication, things go downhill quickly after 12 hours. I'm somewhere around hour 60.  **This isn't by choice, but by circumstances mostly out of my control** And of course, we are currently having a very difficult week in a few different areas of life, keeping the old adage alive of 'when it rains, it pours.'

These three things make a nasty stew of negative emotions, exaggerated drama and falsehoods that appear true.

***The above was actually written on Tuesday, November 19th. I deleted the rest of this post before posting publicly. Although that may highly irritate those of you out there with the constant need to know, it just wasn't something needing shared and most importantly, nothing beneficial.  However, because I want this blog to be a true representation of myself and my constant battle and journey with depression, I wanted to leave in the preface to show how I'm thinking when things are way at the bottom. I wanted to be truthful about what was most likely causing my mood. It's especially important because I had been unmedicated at this time and although I have a strong dislike for my meds, it shows the importance of them in a brain that isn't functioning correctly. My apologies for it being an uninteresting post. I'll have another soon, I'm sure. :)***