I've been trying to write this post for two weeks now (okay, now make it three...). Been a little crazy working on some bigger projects as well as cleaning for my first ever Tastefully Simple party. This will be the third 'people gathering' I've had at my home this summer... more than the last 10 years combined (nope, not kidding). I'm starting to like having people over, and starting to be okay with the fact that my house isn't as huge, nicely decorated, or up-to-date as some of my other friends. I always grew up with the idea of 'come to see me, not my house', but pride stepped in the way after I realized my 'things' aren't near as nice as others. Working on that...
But that's neither here nor there with what I intended to write about.
Two weeks ago I went to a Tastefully Simple meeting designed just for consultants. My team leader wanted me to come because I've been considering becoming a consultant. This was the big Autumn meeting, where consultants were able to taste new fall products and learn about new changes for the fall.
The fact that I went was a monumental thing in and of itself. I've never liked big 'group' things (okay, or small ones), but I really don't like going when I don't know anyone. I didn't technically even 'know' my team leader... I'd met her once, and talked to her a few times to set up the party I was hosting. But for some odd reason, (like maybe God's prompting?) I was very interested in becoming a consultant. So I went...
I got there a bit early, and somewhat boldly walked into the building. I stood for a bit, trying to decide if I should talk to someone... I wasn't even sure I recognized my team leader! As I waited and tried to make myself not run out the door, people began arriving... and coming up to talk to me... and even HUGGED me and said they were glad I was there!
The meeting was in a church rec room, so I thought maybe these were the church ladies?? Or maybe they all knew each other and knew I was new?? I didn't understand... But the friendliness and hugs and even conversation was amazing! All from strangers! As the meeting got going, I realized these ladies were from all over columbus, and only each team knew their own members. They were meeting new people as well, and even though they knew I wasn't a consultant, they included me in everything.
I went through the meeting feeling like I had been there forever, like I had known these ladies forever. We ate, talked, laughed, pondered and listened together. It was nice, but it was odd...
...simply because it made me think about my church friends. Those I've known and gone to church with for the last eleven years. ELEVEN years. Yet some I've known that long and I'm still only on an acquaintance level of friendship. Some I've known less, and still don't really know them.
Why is that?? Yes, I'm shy, not a people person, intimidated easily, etc., but why am I not close to those God has placed in my immediate church family?? I only remember one or two instances when someone from church came up and hugged me and welcomed me without really knowing me. Why is that?
And I'm the same way. Or I used to be. I had a very bad habit of comparing myself to others: what I wore, how I acted, if I was a good enough Christian, if my home was as good as someone else's. It got to the point where I even believed my infertility was God telling me that I would never be as good of a mother as some of those in our church.
The last few years I've been pushing myself to make friendships. The real kind. The kind where you call (okay, text) any time of day or night, can drop by unexpected and they don't care, or vice versa. The kind back in high school we used to call best friends. I have finally built my list up to four. I have four people in my life that fit this criteria. Friendships that have taken a lot of work, a lot of heartache, and a lot of uncertainty, but in the end each of these friendships are more than worth it.
And I don't want it to stop at four. I want to be the example at our church of someone who will smile, talk to you, introduce myself, and yes, maybe even hug you. I've got a ways to go, but I'm thinking this is something God wants me to do... wants all of us to do! He designed us to have relationships, especially with others part of His church.
Some days I'm excited and some days I'm not. Yesterday at church was one of those 'nots'... I got there late (actually this time unintentionally) and ran out of there pretty quickly. I DID sit by some friends though (since hubby wasn't there) instead of sitting alone like usual. But there were new people there and I didn't take the time to welcome them...
Still a long way to go...
But at least now I'm willing!
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