Come on, if you're honest, the Proverbs 31 Woman is more of a daunting challenge that brings more failure and embarrassment than hope and encouragement...
Not that I don't want to be a Proverbs 31 Woman. ...although it isn't at the top of my list of wants...
Not that those I know who are very close to a Proverbs 31 Woman don't inspire me. ...and sometimes make me feel mentally, spiritually and even physically ill... if I allowed comparison...
Not that I don't think I might could possibly someday be somewhat of a Proverbs 31 Woman... if God lets me live long enough...
Well, you get it.
I have enough failures in my life caused by my own sin that placing myself purposefully in a place where I will definitely fail is not something I really want to do.
The past few months I set a few personal goals for no other reason than changing a few things that aren't right.
Okay, and for my own sanity.
One of those things is getting up earlier in the morning. By earlier I mean I now set an alarm for the first time in 5 years and it is set at the bright early hour of... 7:15.
Those of you who arise at 4 or 5 a.m. are scoffing at me. I don't care. You're in bed by 9 while I'm still cleaning at 1 a.m. ;)
My goal was set in order to help me get up at least an hour before my early bird daughter (who gives me til 8ish), so I can get some chores done as well as morning devotions and prayer time.
and coffee.
If I don't get at least one cup of coffee before my kids are up, the morning doesn't go so well... ha.
I've been doing very well. At least at the getting up part. The chores and morning devos worked well for a while then the past two weeks they've been hit or miss.
Like I mentioned before, I work best at night. I'd prefer to sweep, mop, dishes, fold laundry, clean glass, after 9 p.m. The later the hour, the more energy I have, the more I get accomplished.
It helps that it actually stays cleaner longer than 10 minutes too... since all the little mess makers are in bed. ;) speaking of, here is one of them... :)
Last week, I was lamenting (ok, whining) over a few non-significant, selfish issues, and somehow that led to me thinking of how I'm a 'late sleeper', which makes me lazy according to some others (which shows you I haven't completely stopped comparing myself), and somehow Proverbs 31 entered into my head.
I hadn't read it recently. I try not to focus on it. Like I said, I tend to avoid things that I know I will fail at.
But these verses popped into my head:
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
The part that stuck in my head was the 'lamp doesn't go out at night' and the 'getting up while it's still night' part.
God then gave me a personal revelation: We are all different.
Okay, okay, that's not an astounding revelation, and that's not the exact wording, but it is the main idea.
I realized that staying up after my family has gone to bed, and getting up before they are awake is what these verses are really saying.
It's not about the TIME itself. So you sleep from 9pm-4am and I sleep from 1am-7am... We still accomplish things after and before our families (and technically you get an hour extra sleep!). ;)
I realized too, the 'lamp not going out at night', means mama is there at all hours, up with crying babies, sick kids, nightmares, unexplainable child sleeplessness, etc. I never know when I go to sleep if I will get up 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, etc. times that night. But when I'm needed, I'm up (though not always fully in the right mind). My husband can't do this. He can't even hear a crying baby sleeping in the same bed as us. Not kidding. I can hear the smallest whimpers from the other end of the house. It's a blessing to know this.
Just because I don't function like someone else, doesn't mean I'm lazy.
Don't get me wrong. I am lazy. But only when it comes to my housework. Notice I said MY housework. I can clean someone else's house amazing and love almost every second of it... I have an aversion to my personal clutter... :P
I'm not anywhere close to even being a shadow of a Proverbs 31 Woman, but this week I did find hope! Hope that it IS possible! I'm not perfect, and there will be days I sleep past 715, but I've made some incredible progress the past few months and THAT is something to celebrate! :)
getting up early has always been something i've WANTED to do because in some way it makes me feel "more spiritual"... especially with little ones waking throughout the night, getting up early is not a reality for me--especially since my husband likes to stay up late. john has told me specifically he'd rather me stay up late with him and sleep in until the kiddos wake up in the morning. at least if i'm giving myself a guilt trip for not getting up before the kiddos, i'm not getting it from him too!
ReplyDeleteAll I have to say is we are so much alike Amy. :)
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